Here is a lesson for all those aspiring music critics out there: always make sure you are reviewing the right show.
This sounds pretty easy to do, right? Well, you'd be surprised. Let's say someone, let's call her Erica, was supposed to review a show at Holy Joes called "Dean's Dynamic Duos". Now, for those of you who don't live in Toronto, Holy Joes is one of 4 clubs housed in a single building, and, as Erica found out, not the most obvious room in the place.
Now this young critic got to the show right on time. Cleared her guest-list status and waited…and waited…and waited. For a show that was supposed to start at 9pm, the 10:30 start was a little odd, but not unheard of. Well, the first duo was great. Very talented young ladies with a very funny sense of humour. So far Dean hadn't made an appearance and it was getting quite late but surely he would be on next. Well, one man did get up on stage…then two…then three…then four. This is not a duo! What's going on?
Deciding to contemplate in the ladies room, Erica walks past a wall, covered in posters. Barely legible underneath it all were giant white letters that spelled out "HOLY JOES – THIS WAY" pointing to a door that would lead Erica out of the room she was currently sitting in.
At this point, acid reflux kicked in, and a cold sweat broke out on Erica's forehead. She cautiously peeked through the mystery door. Sure enough…a duo on stage! With a guy named Dean! Holy crap Erica, you're an idiot!!
Well, she managed to catch the last 30 minutes of the performance, and boy did Erica feel stupid. Because clearly she missed some awesome stuff. Justin Rutledge and Rhonda Stakich were just finished their set…a set which included Stakich on a big, beautiful stand-up bass. Then Dean Drouillard and the very funny Ron Leary took to the stage for a mere 20 minutes – hardly enough time to appreciate them both as much as they deserved. Great lyrics, lovely melodies and from Leary and boy could Dean play his guitar.
So not only did Erica miss the show, which she is still kicking herself in the ass for, but her "guest-list" status in the other room was for a charity event benefiting the Daily Bread Food Bank. Not only is Erica an idiot, but she's a cheapskate too!
To make amends, Erica has made a donation to the Daily Bread Food Bank, and in order to try and make amends with the musicians she so carelessly deprived of a more intelligent review, has promised to make her stupidity publicly known.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am that Erica. And I am stupid…very, very, stupid. My most sincere apologies to Dean Drouillard, Rhonda Stakich, Justin Rutledge and Ron Leary; all great musicians forced to put up with an even greater idiot.
Writer: Erica Basnicki